What Really Holds Women Leaders Back

As a retired female FBI agent, I take umbrage at the assumption that professional women don’t have what it takes to move their career to the next level without special assistance or lowering the standards of the position so they can be hired.

I served on a search committee recently where one of the members of the organization said to me, “We need a woman to fill this position. Whomever you pick, make sure it’s a female.” My jaw dropped—she was implying that special consideration should be given to the women who applied.

I responded to that individual with such unfiltered intensity that she started backing away from me. “Do you truly believe that there will be no qualified female candidates?” I demanded. “We’d be doing women no favors by hiring someone just because she’s a woman!”

As it turns out, the best candidate was a woman, and she was hired!

The fact is, men still make up 95.2% of Fortune 500 CEO’s positions. Men comprise the majority of corporate boards, and Germany Chancellor Angela Merkel stands out like a lightbulb as a female head of state.

While blatant bias no longer blocks women leaders from soaring into top positions, there may still be residual discrimination. But research is showing that societal factors are the biggest culprit in nudging women away from top level careers.

Here is what really holds women leaders back:

Math Is A Four Letter Word

Researchers have repeatedly found that girls and boys do not differ in average mathematical abilities.

For math-centric fields, in which women are very scarce, it appears that a difference in interests is the primary factor to explain the disparity. Girls are told from an early age that they do not have an aptitude for Science, Technology, Engineering, or Math (STEM) so they opt for other professions.

According to neuroscientist Lise Eliot, there are small inherent differences in aptitude between males and females at birth (boys seem to have an edge in spatial cognition). Society takes these differences and makes them much bigger—by supporting boys in math and science and by discouraging girls to pursue careers in these areas.

Stereotypes Are Alive And Thriving

When we expect an individual to perform at a level below the standard, studies are finding that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy!

Females who take tests in certain fields that are traditionally dominated by men do much better if they’re asked to fill out their gender after they’ve taken them.

The seeds for this pattern of behavior are planted early. By the time girls are in high school, these self-limiting beliefs and lower expectations of their future have already been embedded into their thinking.

The Road Well Traveled

Many women leaders prefer to opt out of the competitive world of business and academia because they don’t believe leadership positions are compatible with having families.

These women don’t like the rules of the game, where working 24/7 for the first 20 years of their career is the only route to leadership. There aren’t enough options and pathways to the top today for people (men or women) who are not willing to play the game as it’s played today.

A 2010 Survey of Doctorate recipients indicates that women are more than twice as likely as men to leave the labor force. Most of those who were not retiring cite family considerations.

Bigger Really Is Better

The best and brightest young women can become great leaders. It’s easy to say, but do we need to convince women that they really should be going for the big jobs? Do women wither in the face of competitive leadership and business tracks?

Part of the answer lies in whether women feel confident they can fill the pin-stripe suit who occupied the desk before them.

As much as the individual I mentioned earlier wanted my search committee to give the job to a woman, her attitude exuded a lack of confidence that a woman could get the job on her own merits. To me, that indicates a dangerous lack of confidence in the capabilities of the women out there on the fast track to leadership.

Home Sweet Hell

According to a study of Harvard Business School alumni, women leaders want high-achieving careers even after they start families.

The study also found that men generally expect that their careers will take precedence over their spouses’ careers and that their spouses will handle more of the child care.

Women, on the other hand, expect that their careers will be as important as their spouses’, and that they will share child care equally—but, in general, neither happens. This pattern appears to be nearly as strong among Harvard graduates still in their 20s as it is for earlier generations.

Among women in the 32—67 age group, only 25 percent expected their husbands’ careers to take precedence. In reality, their husband’s career took precedence 40 percent of the time. Half of the women expected to handle a majority of child care; in reality, nearly three-quarters ended up doing so.

If strong women leaders want to take their careers to the next level—or to the top, they need to address the real issues that are holding them back.

What do you think really holds women leaders back?

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Author of “Mental Toughness for Women Leaders: 52 Tips To Recognize and Utilize Your Greatest Strengths” and “Secrets of a Strong Mind.”